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Writer's picturephoenix_lamour

What is in a Name?




I was borne of pure conscious thought..

I was formless, without boundary..

Things were still for a moment.

..And then they weren't.


Unbridled and unbound, I spread throughout the abyssal blackness of the #void.. Searching to understand.. But for what, I was unaware. There was nothing here but the simplicity of infinite potential.


It could have been enough.

Others might suggest it should have been enough.. To be the only unique thing in existence.


But the fire inside of me was unsated.

I desired to BE.


And the burning desire of my BEing began to illuminate the darkness around me.. Pooling and swirling until the very first stars began to shimmer into creation from the heat of my passion.. And thus Chaos was borne.

I perused the smoky, soupy haze.. Enjoying the sparkling lights of my #creation. They were dazzling. Until I reached my tongue out to taste it and realized I could feel nothing (but the ideas of my perceptions)!



I was unfathomably empty again.


I longed to feel. There was a cold, empty, unreachable space in me that longed to be filled. So I began to pull into me all that I could. I contracted, became a vacuum, and began to make limbs and a form for myself. The star matter began to cool and pool into swirling spirals inside of me, setting time into motion. I now had boundary, as I watched the galaxies inside me dance in lights, blues, and golden hues amidst the blackest black of night.


I was beautiful and radiant. I was perfect beyond validation.

So what more I was looking for, I would not know or come to understand until later.


I ached so deeply for something outside of me. My longing, my passions, and the impalpable emptiness I felt sent waves coursing throughout my body. Waves of intense agony, torment, and fury crashed within my being, each ripple somehow intensifying the last, ripping me apart from the inside out. These afflictions mixed with overwhelming surges of hilarity, ludicrousness and absurdity, fever, and lasciviousness. I was in #ecstacy.



I spoke myself into Being.


I awoke on a slab in a simple clay room. A familiar, comforting warm glow was emanating from the hearth. I breathed in the earthy embers of fresh creation. My heart filled with joy and I knew I was loved.

My skin was the blackest obsidian, dark and radiant as the night sky. I glowed in multi-dimensional spectrums each sensual step I took. My dressings were the purest, richest white I had ever seen, trimmed in plated gold.


I stepped out of the palace into the warm glow. I tasted sunlight for the first time. It was glorious and I smiled for the first time. Lounging next to the shallow pool, amongst the lotus and rich green plant life, I found my kin. We were beautiful and we were in love. Everything here was perfect.


The time I had set into motion, however, could not be ignored. This creation was perfect, yes.. But it came at the expense of Chaos. An expense as such could not be afforded at this occurring state of All Being. We needed to create.


The world opened beneath my feet, sending me through different realities as it divided itself into the different #realms of existence, each level denser than the last.. Until finally, I felt myself split (rip) in two. I found myself on a plane of #duality, where every aspect of the divine BEing existed in a complimentary state of being. The Chaos had successfully divided us.



Fragments and #fractals, I could not recognize the divinity before me anymore. My soul's incessant search for perfection was in stark contrast to the accepted mediocrity I perceived around me. I was dismayed. I was lost, in uncharted territory. I spent many years fighting. I spent many years dying. I infiltrated and explored numerous facets of society from that of a great king, to that of a whore, taking notes and learning and observing along the way.


I have spent much of this young life going through the motions. Like most people, I began to mold my expectations under the influence of the society I was born into. Systematic thinking. Control of environment and #programming. Fear, distrust, a lost sense of purpose.. I was not in love with my life. I was not in love with the me who I was interacting with this program.



It's true that #Love has the power to change your life.


Love is infinite and abundant as the universe itself. In fact, it is this same Love (or the longing for) that sparked the #emanation of creation in the first place. The Need and Desire to Love and be Loved. To be luminous and radiant in Love. And once I discovered how to Love and heal myself, I rediscovered the #abundance that had been layered into our reality all along. I searched myself out until I came upon myself face to face.


I have my #twinflame to thank for that. Through our journey together, he's taught me so much about unconditional love. He woke me up from my slumber, and unplugged me from a false reality rooted in fear. He showed me the perfection in our separateness, the pieces of the puzzle finally fitting together. Through him I have discovered the purest Love possible, and now we are excited to live in Love #together.


Life is a #celebration of Love. I am no longer idly sitting by and allowing it to pass me. Through Love, we are transforming ourselves and thus the World around us by remembering the Truth, that we are All One. The only thing that separates us is our perceptions as we move through the Chaos of #time and #space, which we are thankful for allowing us the Experience.



So what is in a name?

When you are Everything and Nothing at the same time? I've had thousands.. And sometimes, I didn't have one at all. I just know that I Am.


I Am Love. And I Am here to meet you wherever you are ready to meet me. I Am here to meet you where you are ready to meet yourself. Let's heal together.


-Phoenix


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